1. Visit mum and dad. Probably not worth the consequences.
2. Enjoy a night on the town. Pick up, take said pick up home. Enjoy rest of night at home. Send pick up on their way. Wait for said subject to call. When (if) call comes through, organise to meet for coffee. Encourage date to pick up the bill. Yes, this one’s a big effort but it could just come off.
3. Wait for a new shop to open. They often have free coffee on opening day.
4. Help an old lady in the street. She will be so grateful for your helping hand that she will shout you coffee. Remember not to let slip that you were actually the one you whipped that walking stick out from under her in the first place.
5. Frequent shopper cards. Buy 10, get one free.
6. Incessantly hang around supermarket aisles. A beaming young lady with too much make-up and wearing a frilly apron is sure to eventually stroll by to offer you a sample of the latest coffee product to hit the shelves.
7. Go doorknocking. They say natural disasters bring out the best in people. So target an ailing town or city.
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